this is something i figure out in the past few weeks...whenever you want to gain something you, there is sure to be something got to lose...i tried to gain something but i nearly lose the other...but in the end i m still on the same place not moving...haha someone taught me that...when something appears in your life and you don't try to grap it, the chance might not just come again...i understand fully what this phrase truly mean...but something that is not meant to be your, you shouldn't even try to go and grap it... that is all for the chim chim ideas of mine...hahaha... but seriously when being with suresh and hakim sometimes i got to at as though i m changed...always looking for girls and stuffs...actually i don't need any girls...haha...friends are much more important to me...watson thanks for giving me a ride on your bike...and i know you always loved me...by placing a sticker...you know what i mean...haha i like the new me...but i don't wish to forsake the friends of the old me...i still need the four brothers and the 18 year old virgin...hahaha...i can be myself with you guys...although you guys will irritate me by playing with my idoitic past mistakes...but who are the ones that are with me when i needed someone the most...you guys...THANKS still alive @ 6:37 AM
Friday, December 22, 2006
16 dec 2006 hahaha guys I am finally 18...kinda of rocks...went drinking with my gang of B.L.P.P brothers...i drank 7 cans of baron...and at the end it was only one of my bro left with me at 8am in the morning...we both drink the same amount of cans...thanks dude...hope our plans can come true...it was a fun night with most of my brothers wishing me happy birthday...i also called her down to drink with me...it was fun...alicia and xin miao thanks for calling me at 12am to wish me...thanks dudes...hope to see you girls soon man...my bro also gave me a surprise...he actually bought a birthday cake for me...it is cool... 17 dec 2006 As on my birthday...my dad and bro brought me to marina to eat steamboat...it is so long since we get together to go out and eat...and next we went down to play bowling...hahaha...and it was totally fun...hahaha...after i got back home...i cut my cake...and went out again...typically me...hahaha...met xav and watson and ji jun and eunice at kallang...we played pool and i get the 18 punches from xavier and 5 from watson...hahaha but it kind of rocks...both of them change my life and stuffs...all i want to say is thanks... 19 dec 2006 the happy mood is still there...my classmates decided to celebrate my birthday at Brandon's pub...edam,emily,marcus,sheng,james,ling,selene,jolene and brandon...thanks dudes...brandon close his pub on the day...so the pub is like only the few of us...they force me to drink down 2 martel...it was crazy...but thanks to edam,marcus and emily...i only drink 1 and 3/4 of it...and after that marcus send me and emily home...it was like...emily told me...i m always here for you...i m kinda of touch thanks...but thanks is the only thing i can say...then i went back and meet up with her...she got a bf...and that goes my good luck and happy mood for the rest of the week...hahaha...
and now i am preparing for the BBQ with my B.L.P.P brothers...we are going to rock hell out of the night... still alive @ 12:24 PM
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Having major headache right now...
Just went down to DXO with my clique of brothers...haha...so i shall post that first... it was a underage party...i got there with kai and long...as rest of the gang got there first...so i queue for the 16-17 years old...and i suppose to get a chop on my hand...i was all prepare to get the chop as I M STILL UNDERAGE...haha...then it was my turn...i show the guy my IC and then he shout to another guy...GIVE HIM THE TAG...i was like...huh...i m still underage man...haha...it turns out that only 18 and above can get the tag...lucky man...haha...it was fun but there isn't much girls...so it turns out to be kind of boring in the end...
The past few weeks really made me understand how failure i m in the past...haha...first it was Si wei's dad pass away...went to the funeral...images of the past seems to just fly pass...this is the first time saying this...haha...i thought i can walk through of the sadness...i was too navie...before my mom pass away...she told me this..."i love you u-xen,it is going to be alright."...everytime when i remember this thing...i would always feel the pain in my heart...i doubt i m ever going to get pass this anymore...haha...
then almost everyday i would be meeting Watson...i know the thing he needs most now is friend...we had a long chat at butterfly park...from there i understand what a friend i was in the past...people make choices...some lead to good things...however some lead to bad...
then on sunday night...i was walking back with kai...i saw her...she is just behind me...i turn and she smile at me...but due to the conflinct between her and kai...she didn't walk over and say hi...it is kinda of sad...as kai actually taking bus home...but i never bring my ez link card...so he accompany me to walk back...when come to choose brothers and girl...i chose brother...or should i say i m gutless...haha...wen kai keep call me to walk her home...but it is all fate...i can't let kai walk alone...i can't do...or i m just find excuses that i m gutless to walk over and say hi...haha...kind miserable...haha
the following is just something that i wish to tell my best friends...
Watson : After all the things you help me...Thanks...All i can do is to accompany you or lend you a listening ear...you are the one that made what i m today...i m smarter and not so easily trick by others...thanks to you...when i was down and alone you are with me...thanks...you made the uxen of today...haha...remember you will always have my support...you guys make me alive...but you kept me alive...
Xavier : Always been there when i need people the most...Make your choices carefully...make up your mind in what you want to do...what you pick...you will always be supported by us...
Jun Long : Firstly thanks for all those lame jokes to make me laugh...haha...always the joker...but when i need someone to chat and drink...i sure can find you right?...Go for disneyland man...you get what i mean...go get what you want...don't live in regret...
Wen Kai : Thanks for being the one that always listen to my nags and problems...always give me the right advice...i really appreciate it...
Connie : Hey sister...haha...we have been soul mates for so long...whenever i m down...you will certainly listen to all my problems and give me the answer that i want to hear...haha...thanks for being there for me when i need you...remember i am always here for you...and one more thing...like what i always tell you..."It is not that we can't find good guys/girls, but it is just isn't the right time for the right one to appear.When he appear you will certainly be loved and have a very good relationship." still alive @ 6:02 AM
Thursday, October 12, 2006
back...the past one month lots of things happen... First i got debarred from exam and have to re-take my 2 subjects... Secondly, dad got into hospital due to high pressure...and the doc told me and my bro not to let him have anymore pressure from anything...So my dad told me and my bro the get back to the office to help...We don't have any choice other than obeying his orders...He is my dad after all...All the relative and my dad's girlfriend call and persuade us( force...haiz... ) to go back to the company the take over...Quite pissed...He in hospital for one week and got t0 go back once a week for checkup...Like what my dad say...You already don't have a mother...Do you want to lose me?...It hurt me deeply when i heard this from him...Do this mean, he don't feel any care and concern for him?So i got the quit my job and go back unwillingly...So as my bro...But after 3weeks, which is now...things sort of brighten up...as i always remind myself...life ain't tough for me...kids in those third world country are worst...look on the bright side to brighten myself...So there goes my ambition... Lastly, after my dad got in hospital i seal myself up with alot of people...even my brothers...i just feel so usless and i don't answer calls from anyone...i will laugh and make jokes now...but death pop up during those days...Mom call me to take care of Dad before she passed away...i didn't do a good job...i can't even do somethings to please Mom...i don't even dare to admit that i mom's most adored son...i don't feel that i m capable to be one...i just hide all of this to myself...i know bro feel the same way...but we just don't say it out, however i and bro got closer after this incident...weird huh?...when i want to find someone the chat and stuff...i can't think of anyone...so i just the door of my heart to all those great friends i have...Being strong ain't my speciality...In the end, those that cared the most is still all the brothers and even kras,ba and suresh...it is like i even never pick up suresh calls during the 2 weeks...so he ask me what happen...i told him the truth and he just ask if my dad is well...and he never mention it again...i m just tired...Very tired...
Lets talk about the present...Today and the next few days till Sunday...i will be tour guide for Luke...He is my client's son...My client went to China for bussiness...and he send his son to come to Singapore alone...So i will act as a tour guide and bring him around and stuff...He is 16 this year...This is the second time we met...The previous time he here was for a day or so...So didn't have much communication with him... As watson and the rest...They bought the board game risk and we played in once or twice a week...i really have fun and laughter with them...they brighten up my day...No matter how down i am...I appreciate everything...Although i always get into to stupid things...but i just wished to say thanks...I maybe unlucky in everything...But i m lucky to have you guys around me... still alive @ 5:14 AM
Monday, August 14, 2006
haha...i m back...school rocks man...met up with Pasib in school...didn't know that he also same course as me...too bad...hope to meet her more in school...haha...all of the guys in my class, all got talk to girls already...yet only me,marcus and sheng haven't made a move yet...haha...and they are encouraging me to go for the girl sitting behind me...haha...maybe tmr i will talk to her...who knows... btw now my body hurts like hell...upper part of my body is having a bad sun burn...ouch...haha...went to punggol end with suresh,ba,kash,badrun and andrew...and i caught the biggest fish that day...how lucky m i...haha...it was very relax and fun...andrew making all the lame jokes and stuffs...we went to the wrong spot and spent the first 3 hrs getting small fishes...then ba decided to change to the place where alot of people fish and get fishes...then after a while...i and kash go over...i cast my rod...and we sit down and chat...lesser than 5min...andrew shout "u-xen!u-xen!" and my rod starting bending...and that is the only fish i caught haha...yet the biggest...beginner's luck...
blog up to here...still got homework for accounts to complete...sianz... still alive @ 7:48 PM
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
Finally... the first day of school have arrive...haha...
i reach school at 9am sharp...i spent my time looking for my class...when i step into the class it was 9.10 already...haha and i seems to be early...when 9.30 my dad call me to check if i m in school...haha and i m the first one to walk out of class to answer my calls...yah i mean calls...i total pick up 4 calls...that is the most in my class...wen kai call me at 10.40 and i told him that i still having lecture...so i go back to class and after i sit down for 2min he call me again and i got to go out and ans my phone...haiz...yes it is true that there are hot chick in bussiness management...yet guys out there must act fast...i just go for one break and 5 of the hot chicks are with guys already...this sucks...haha...although there are 20 girls in my class yet only 7 are hot...haiz....and all the other guys look like ah beng...only got 4 nerds...haha...make some new friends in school already and saw si min too...haha...thursday communication skills...hope to make more new friends ( girls )...hahaha...the girls in my school are hot...yet most of them come from mass comm...haiz...pick wrong course and timing too...haha...
seriously after the drink we hardly can find time to chat...haiz...seriously don't know how to take the first step...quite sad in a way...hope tomorrow will be a better day...haha
Happy National Day... still alive @ 2:20 AM
Saturday, August 05, 2006
just finish drinking with my neighbour...had a long long chat with her...never chat with her for so long...haha...we talk about the past and lots of stuffs...we can seriously chat...
finally starting school on monday.First two modules is Principles of Account and Finances and Communication Skills...Yeah...haha...i need to get a job soon...getting broke...haha
This is why falling in love is so god damn hard...a phase from Hitch...watching the movie again...but this time round...it is only me...haha...I m afraid of falling in love anymore...yet i m falling for this girl...i don't even know why...i have 0% confidence 0% faith in myself...i sucks right...haha...what should i do...typically i don't really know...
